thecupboard

The sun shone, the birds were singing and a light breeze was blowing through the woods. It was a great day to be outside. Loki inhaled the lovely smell of evergreens and listened to the buzz of life. “Ah, the great woods of Alfheim. Every living thing here exist in harmony…” A loud noise from behind cut him off mid sentence. “Not everything apparently” he said between his teeth and turned around with an annoyed look. The noise had come from a small tree that had fallen because Thor – it was always Thor – had fallen down on it while trying to walk through the high ferns. Thor got up with some difficulty and brushed off the moss from his body. He tried to lift the poor broken tree and put it into the ground, but that only resulted in a rain of leaves, so he put it down again. “How can you be this clumsy all the time?” Loki made a frustrated sigh and turned on his heel and continued walking through the forest.

They soon reached a spot with loads of berry bushes. They tasted sweater than any berries on earth, in fact, these where the best berries in all the nine realms. Loki dived into the shrubbery and started picking the delicious berries and putting them in the bucket. After almost an hour he swept the sweat from his forehead and straightened his back. He looked over at Thor who was holding the bucket. “Is it full yet?” He asked and was hoping that all the work would have paid off.

Sara, din tur ;)

Här är min nya (inte alls creepy) fanfiction. Korrekturläst av ingen mindre än Sara.

"Humoristiskt passande och så bra att mitt poetiska flow inte räcker till." - Sara

The clock

It was early afternoon or just after midday. Thor and Loki sat with a paper each before them on the table. They both looked frustrated.

A couple of hours earlier Tony had told Thor about an event he thought they should go to. “There’s this big concert tomorrow, with some of the greatest rock stars now living. I thought you and Steve should go there since you have missed all that.”

Thor had happily agreed to go. He looked at it as a chance of finding out more about the culture of the Midgardians. “What about Loki?” he asked.

“Sure, take Rock of Ages with you. He’ll probably enjoy it. It starts at nine and goes on for three hours…”

“Nine what?” Thor asked. He had never needed to talk about a specific time before. He usually used days, weeks, months and years, never hours or minutes.

When Tony saw the confused look on Thor’s face he said: “Nine o’clock, 21.00. Nine hours after midday. Jeez, don’t they teach you the clock up there?”

“We have no need for that.”

“Oh, I see…” Tony couldn’t really imagine how they could live without clocks. Did they still have the middle ages up in Asgard?

“Would you mind sharing your knowledge?” Thor asked.

“No, of course not, I’ll see what I can do. Jarvis, print out some exercises for six year olds.”

So, now the Gods sat there with the papers. They didn’t find it much fun to sit there and try to learn the clock. Every once in a while they sighed and stretched out their backs before going back to the exercises. Thor was inpatient and had already broken two pens.

“This is dreary.” He said.

“It was your idea” Loki recalled.

“When can we take a break?”

“We just started.”

“I know…”

“Thor, you’re distressing me.” Loki gave Thor an angry look. Learning the clock wasn’t much easier for Loki and the whole thing started to annoy him.

A minute passed and Thor made a happy grunt. Loki raised an eyebrow and looked at him surprised.

“I’m finished.” Said Thor and leaned back in the chair looking satisfied.

Loki turned the paper upside down and said. “There is a second page.”

Thor smashed his hand on the table and broke his third pen. “What?” He exclaimed. Loki handed him a new pen and they both continued with the learning.

At last Loki put down his pen and sighed. “Finally. I’m done with it.” He stood up and was just about to leave when Thor grabbed his arm and stopped him. “I have finished it too. Now we need to see if we’ve done it correctly.”

Loki glared at him but Thor ignored it. “We’ll ask Tony to correct it.”

“Thor, I know you seem to want to connect with the humans by doing all these things.” As he said that he made a gesture towards the papers. “But why do I have to do that too?”

Thor looked at his brother and sighed. “I think it would do you good, brother. This is useful knowledge and we may need it in the future.”

“Only if we’re going to be around humans.”

“Which we will be and already are.” With those words Thor marched out of the room dragging Loki with him.

When they arrived to the living room where Tony was they walked up to him.

“We have now learned how you call the time here on Earth.” Thor proudly announced and gave the papers to Tony.

“Well that is magnificent.” Tony said with a string of sarcasm. Loki frowned and crossed his arms. Thor didn’t seem to have noticed it and just waited for Tony to correct the papers.

“Jarvis, do you mind?” Tony said and put the papers in front of him on the table.

“Of course not, sir.” Said Jarvis and scanned the papers. “Five out of fifteen answers are incorrect on the paper with no name and… Eight out of fifteen answers are incorrect on the other paper with no name.”

“You didn’t write any names.” Tony noticed.

“No, we didn’t.” Loki said.

“Should we have done that?” Thor asked.

“Well, there was a square that said ‘name’ on the paper.” Said Tony.

“Oh.”

Loki picked up one of the papers. It was the one with the most correct answers. “This one is mine.” He said.

Thor looked at the paper. “No, that one’s mine.”

“No it isn’t, Thor. I can clearly see that it is my handwriting.” He picked up the other paper and added: “You see this, I don’t write nines like that. This is yours.” Then he handed the paper to Thor.

“But-“ Said Thor.

Tony interrupted the fight. “Stop bitching, you two. It doesn’t matter who of you did what, just tell me what time it is.”

Loki and Thor stopped and looked at the clock on the wall.

“It is three and a half.” Said Loki.

“Half past three.” Said Thor.

“Thor is right.”

Thor smiled triumphantly.

“What will the time be in two and a half hours?” Tony asked.

This time they both thought carefully before they answered. Thor was still counting when Loki said: “Six o’clock.”

“Correct. Good, you both passed the test.” Said Tony. “Class dismissed.”

“Are we ready to go to the concert?” Thor asked.

“Well, it’s not until tomorrow but yes, you are.” Tony said.

“Wait, what concert?” Loki asked confused.

“Didn’t Thor tell you about the concert? Wasn’t that the reason why you were learning the clock?” Asked Tony.

“No he didn’t.” Said Loki and looked angrily at Thor.

“Now you know.” Said Thor and smiled.

“You just made me do this idiotic paper because you were going to a concert?” Loki yelled.

“We are going to a concert. You’ll go too.” Corrected Thor.

“Did it never occur to you that I might not want to go?”

“Well, no…”

“You’re unbelievable. I’m not going.” Said Loki and stormed out of the room.

Tony who had been sitting quietly all this time said: “I guess I can ask some homeless person if he wants to go then.”

“Loki, will change his mind. He’s just a little mad that I didn’t ask him first. And because I threatened to throw Mjolnir at him unless he did the exercises.” Said Thor. “I should apologise to him…”

“Good, I wasn’t serious about what I said. I don’t really want to talk to any homeless guys… I prefer to donate.” Seeing as Thor didn’t pay any attention to what he was saying Tony went back to work.

After pondering for a few minutes Thor decided to sort things out with Loki. It was then already late afternoon or, if you prefer, early evening.

Steve – How’s the meat?

Thor – This is not meat… It’s flour, water and salt.

Steve – So you don’t like it?

Thor – It’s better than pasta salad.

Steve – I want this thing - doughnut surprise.

Natasha – Ah! The Internet is down. Tony!

Thor – What?! You took a vegetarian pizza?

Bruce – Yes…

Thor – But… No, just no!

Natasha – Why not? It’s nothing wrong with it.

Thor – But the meat… You think I would have these muscles if I didn’t eat meat?

Thor – Ok, I need to think now.

Natasha – O that’s hard.

Clint – Don’t drink and laugh.

It was a beautiful day, the sun shone, the wind was warm and the water had the same colour as the almost cloud free sky. The big black van slowed down at the beach and stopped in the shade of the group of trees that you barely could call a forest.

The front door opened and Tony Stark got out of the van. He was wearing grey shorts and a dark linen. He looked at the beach over his sunglasses and said:

“It will do.”

“At last, I thought we would never stop.” Said Loki, who now also had gotten out of the van. He was dressed in a black shirt with tucked sleeves and dark jeans that went down to his black shoes. Actually he was all dressed in black and didn’t seem to belong at that beach but rather in a TV-series about vampires.

“But the other four beaches were eather too small or too crowded.” said Tony and opened the back door so that Thor could come out.

“That door is cursed, I can never open it.” Thor said while he got out.

“There where two people there, Tony.” Said Steve who climbed out after Thor.

“Yes but I don’t like to share my beach with strangers.“ Tony said while starting to take out things from the trunk and putting them on the ground.

“Ok, Steve takes the parasols, Tasha… Here, take the towels, Clint you can take the food.”

“Why me I’m busy, Thor can take it.” Clint said.

“Thor and food equals no food and taking on sunscreen doesn’t count as busy.” Said Tony and handed over the bag with food.

“Fine.”

They set up the parasols and laid down the towels in the shade of them and then they changed to swimsuits.

“So let’s go swimming.” Said Steve.

“Nah I think I’ll do some sunbathing instead, swimming isn’t really my thing.” Said Clint while putting on his sunglasses.

“You’ll miss all the fun but that’s your choice…” Said Steve and walked down to the water with the rest.

They waded out in the lake. The water felt cooling and calming after the hot and harsh sand.

Thor stood next to Loki and asked:

“Could we do this thing I told you about before, when I hold your hands and you float in the water and then I spin around with you in a circle?”

“What? No, I’m not a child.” Loki said with a stern voice.

“Come on brother, please.” Thor said and looked his brother in the eyes.

“No!”

“But, Loki… Please.”

“Ah fine.” Loki really didn’t want to do this silly thing but if he didn’t Thor would probably go on about it the rest of the day.

Thor smiled and grabbed Lokis hands and dragged him in the water. It looked quite silly so after a while Loki said:

“Stop. It doesn’t work I’m to big for this.”

“No, we just have to go out a little deeper that’s all.”

“I just want to go swimming. Ok?”

“Oh, ok.”

Loki swam away and left Thor alone.

In the meantime Natasha walked out of the water in her black bikini and sat down next to Clint on the beach.

Steve and Tony floated around in the water.

“Are you hungry?” Tony asked Steve.

“Yes lets eat.” Steve answered.

They walked up on the beach and started unpacking the food bag.

Tony called out: “Blondie & Drama Queen it’s lunch!”

Loki and Thor came up from the water and sat down on the towels around the food. They didn’t really appreciate the nicknames Tony had given them but he did it all the time so they were used to it. Besides the food looked so tasty that they didn’t care about any silly names at the moment.

There was a big choice of food; chicken soup, cheeseburgers, bacon sandwiches, grilled tomatoes, Greek salad, chicken drumsticks, meatballs, French fries and for desert: chocolate chip cookies and blueberry ice cream.

It was a lot of food, but when five grown up men are hungry they eat a lot. So a lot of food quickly turned into no food at all.

The sun had climbed past its highest point on the sky and showed that it was now almost three o’clock. The gang laid down in the shade and talked.

“Why didn’t Banner come with us?” Steve asked.

“A science project, I think.” Said Natasha.

“Yes something about washing powder.” Clint added.

“What is washing powder?” Asked Thor.

“Thor really?” Said Loki scornfully.

“What, do you now what it is?” Thor said surprised.

“Well you can hear by the name that it’s a powder for washing.”

“Oh, yeah maybe but I thought…”

“What?”

“…I don’t know.”

“Exactly.”

“Ehm guys maybe we should go swimming again. It’s getting hot here.” Steve interrupted.

Loki looked angrily at him and said: “You go, I'll stay here.”

“Sure. Who’s with me?” Steve asked.

“You make it sound like we’re on a mission to save someone but sure I can follow you Cap.” Tony said with a little laugh.

“Mm… Me too.” Said Thor.

Steve, Tony and Thor went out in the water. Clint fell asleep. Natasha picked up a book and started reading. Loki putted on his shirt again and walked out where the water was over his feet.

He looked out at the beautiful lake. It was like a big mirror were you could see the sun, the sky, the trees… Then he saw something - a fish. It jumped up a little bit over the water and then disappeared.

Loki got an idea.

“I saw something, there in the water.” He said loudly so that everyone could hear him. It worked as he had predicted, the men out in the water turned around looking at him. Nervous about what could live in the lake.

“What? Where?” Thor asked nervously.

“There” said Loki and pointed out in the water. This will be fun he thought.

“What? What did you see?” Asked Natasha and walked up to him.

“I don’t know, it just flashed there in the water.” Loki said.

“Stop it Loki.” Thor shouted.

Then a fish jumped up again and Loki pointed at the spot. “There. Did you see it?” He asked.

“Yes but I didn’t see what it was.” Natasha said.

“That’s it I’m getting out of here.” They could hear Thor say while he started moving towards the beach. Steve followed him with a scared look on his face. It looked very funny because they where clumsier and moved slower in the water.

“Hey guys. Come on don’t be such cowards.” Tony yelled after them.

“Tony I’m not staying there.” Said Steve as he and Thor ran up on the beach.

Loki smiled; he loved when his plans worked.

Tony was now alone out in the lake and he started to become nervous. He looked at Lokis face but he didn’t seem to be lying about the thing in the water.

“Where is it?” He asked.

“There I think.” Loki pointed on a spot between Tony and the beach. Tony’s face became white.

“How are you Tony? A little scared maybe?” Loki asked with a smile and started walking back and forth on the beach, examining Tony’s face.

“No I’m not scared.” Tony answered.

Loki laughed. Tony looked at him and then started going up to the beach. He now knew Loki had fooled them and was angry.

“It was just a fish wasn’t it?” Tony asked.

Loki just smiled. Steve and Thor had now too understood that Loki had made a fool out of them.

Steve walked down to Loki. “You want a hug?” He asked and opened his arms.

“No thanks.” Loki said and backed away from the soaked Steve.

“Come on.” Said Steve and smiled. He wanted some revenge for being fooled like that. Maybe he could at least make Loki look silly by getting him into the lake or something.

Lokis smile vanished, he turned around and started running.

“Catch him!” Steve shouted at Thor, Tony and Natasha and they all started chasing Loki all over the beach.

They all ran until Loki almost couldn’t take another step, then they finally caught up with him.

The sun was going down and the lake laid in darkness. The beautiful day was coming to an end when the black van drove away from the beach back to the road towards New York City.

Steve, Thor, Tony and Natasha were all tired and sweaty but happy. Loki on the other hand was not very happy. The elegant vampire was gone and had been replaced by a soaking wet heap that you could easily take for a homeless person who had tried to drown himself. He sat and stared angrily at everyone while Clint sat and laughed at him.

“Did you want to swim some more? Loki, don’t be so sad, we can go down there next week again, if you want.” Tony said and smiled.

Thor and Steve laughed. Loki did some kind of growl and glared out the window.

When the van reached the Stark Tower the night had fallen over the city and the streets were full of night people that went from bar to bar or from club to club and partied until the sun went up and a new day began.

THORS MORNING

Thor woke up but he didn’t open his eyes. The light from the sun came in through the open window, which meant that it was almost eight o’clock.

Thor stretched he’s arms and tried to reach for the hammer, Mjölner, that he always had next to the bed. But he could not find it. He opened he’s eyes and leaned over the bed, the hammer was not there.

He jumped out of the bed and started looking around frenetically. “Hammer!” He yelled, but of course it didn’t work, he could not see he’s hammer, it wasn’t anywhere in the room.

How could this be? He was the only one who could lift Mjölner so no one could have moved it. Maybe he had not put it in its usual place last night. Maybe he left it in the kitchen… No, he knew he’d left the hammer next to the bed last night.

He started to panic, he could just call for it and it would come flying to his hand but he didn’t know where it was and it could easily kill some one on the way to his hand.

This was not good, not good at all, the hammer was like a part of him and no one else knew how to handle it. He had to tell the others about it.

He went to the cupboard, got dressed and then he went to the elevator.

This device had always made him insecure, it was crowded and it felt weird wen it moved from floor to floor and just the fact that the humans had this and the Gods didn’t.

The elevator stopped at the kitchen floor and the doors opened. There was a big round table in the dinning room, Tony and Steve sat at the table and ate. Natasha stood at the bar making a coffee.

“Good morning big guy” Tony said looking up from his waffles.

Thor snorted.

“What’s the matter?” Natasha asked.

Thor walked to the table and grabbed a cracker. He sat down at on a chair and said. “I can not find my hammer.”

Steve choked. “What!?”

“I could not find it in its usual place.” Thor said and felt guilty; it was his weapon, his responsibility.

“Really Thor… Well that’s not good.” Lokis voice was full of malice. That was the last voice Thor wanted to hear right now.

“If I find out you’re involved in this, brother.” Thor said with a threatening voice.

“Then what? You’re going to throw your hammer at me?” You could see that Loki really enjoyed this.

“This is not funny Loki!” Natasha said with anger in her voice, “Where did you see it last time Thor?”

“Last night, next to my bed.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I am.”

“Maybe you put it in the suit room.” Steve suggested.

“No, I always keep it in my room at night.”

“We better go and check anyway.” Said Tony. “Come on I can go there with you.”

Tony and Thor walked out of the room. Natasha looked at Loki who now sat at the table eating a tuna sandwich.

“What did you do?” She asked and put her arms over her chest.

“Me?” Loki looked surprised.

“Well of course you! Don’t look so surprised. What did you do with the hammer?”

“I haven’t done anything! You know I can’t lift Mjölner, only Thor can. And you know I can’t make it invisible.”

“No I didn’t know that but what I do know is that Thors hammer is missing and you are the only one of us who enjoys it.”

“But Tasha, he said he could not lift it. What else could he have done?” Steve said.

“Well I don’t know what he is capable of and why are you on his side?” Natasha said with rising anger.

“I’m not on anyone’s side I just don’t want you to start killing each other.”

“We disappear for five minutes and you start killing each other.” Tony said coming out of the elevator with Thor. “It wasn’t there.”

Thor sits down at the table again with a sad face. “What have I done…”

“Don’t worry point break, we’ll find it. Jarvis turn on the television.”

The television turns on and shows the news. A reporter stands next to a road; there are the ambulance, the police and a lot of other reporters. The woman says:

“I’m standing here outside the Stark Tower where two hours ago something fell out of the window and smashed a car. Luckily no one was hurt because the car was empty. Now specialist are trying to take the object out of the car…”

She gets interrupt by a man in black suit that asks her to stop recording and leave the area. Some Shield agents appear with machine guns and clear the area.

Every one in the dining room turns their heads at Thor.

“So I guess we found it.” Loki says unamused.

“We better check your room again.” Says Tony and they all go to the elevator.

When they are in Thors room they see the open window and look down to the road. Down there is the smashed car and the Shield agents.

“Sir, Director Fury is on the line.” Says Jarvis. Then they hear a click and Nick Furys voice speaks to them.

“I don’t know what the hell you did up there but you better get down here, I think there is something that belongs to Thor.”

Loki starts laughing and has to sit down so he wont fall over.

“We’ll be there in a minute Nick.” Tony answers and they hear a new click, the call has ended.

Some time later Thor walks out of the Stark Tower followed by Tony, Natasha, Steve and Loki who’s still laughing.

Thor walks to the car surrounded by Shields troops, Nick Fury stands next the car with his usual serious face.

Thor moves the car aside and yes; there some inches in the asphalt is Mjölner. Thor picks it up and walks back.

“So, where you having a party or what?” Fury asks.

“No, more likely a bad dream.” Thor says. “I’m sorry, it wont happen again.”

“I hope so.” Nick says and walks away to his car.

On the way back to Stark Tower Tony says:

“Maybe you should keep your hammer in the suit room from now one.”

“Yes, I believe that’s a good idea.” Thor answers.

“See, this time I wasn’t involved.” Loki says to Natasha.

“No, not this time.”